So most of the time I try to write my rhythm with rhymes. But this time its much different. Imagine feeling sore for a lifetime and only can be still.I have one person who I honestly know could not give a damn about me and the other who could be better off without us—me and my brother .. Bet things would be better if I wasn’t around. Things always seem much worse when I stand my ground …. and at least TRY to be happy. I only ask for one simple thing. Not new kicks or a wardrobe. I just want Someone to recognize my intelligence but all my surroundings do is highlight the bad ..and claim to be a victim. I rather be a nothing to a nobody then nothing to a somebody. Keeping hope is pointless when years go by and theirs nothing to show for. I don’t live to make other people happy, but I would like see you. But I rather Die if I have to keep hurting myself to make you feel good.

  I don’t even hear I Love You’s anymore. And you said you don’t have time for me. This came out your mouth. There was a time when I knew positively you would always be first and Love for me. And no excuses for my dead beat father. How can you look yo child in eye and turn yo back. Then go start another family. But that was then. This is now. What a fairytale I was living..,right? I sit and listen to your bullshit Everyday even though I hate hearing you complain and not be happy. Wi-fi and television is not at my home. So when my pro say online just know im not at home. Im finding honey in the streets cause I don’t have a home sweet home. i blog about the shit that I wished I owned. Seeking the truth behind all these fake smiles. Pay attention cause the worst things is what people fail to mention. Broke down but we all try to stay up. But some just press they luck.

God only knows what Ive been through ..and I know he’s trying his best to heal you. Soldiers at Heart cause we fight. ..for what we care about. Truth is im fighting for the wrong reason ..apparently. Lord give me the strength to gain my composure ,and recover my mind cause you know im gettin older. Someday things have to change. I Refuse to keep living with my head held down in shame.                         , don’t put my dreams in a hearse and let my future drive away. Every now and then Neshia visits. And wish she could’ve remained that way but its too late. Money is a powerful thing. It can change people into they worst form. You can either be the cause or the effect.                                                           I guess you choose to walk away not knowing my side of the story. Or how will it last. Will I be holding you back? Can you be the one to replace a hole that was never filled. I don’t know what but shit still holds me back even though I want to experience real. My worst nightmare ever is when me, brother, and my mom was living on our last dollar. Not knowing where we would be resting next week. No one else to help us. Then when I woke up it was reality.                   My Heart is gold. And now that ive realized that after your coulds are gone I will be your last option, you are no longer mine. Family is always first but what if that wasn’t a option ..what then? My blood is literally like water.Strangers in a state of mind. These memories can’t be put behind, because its happening live. So those who enter my present is obligated to accept the scars or be scarred